Dark Nights

Psalm 13 

How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever?
How long will You hide Your face from me?
² How long shall I take counsel in my soul,
Having sorrow in my heart daily?
How long will my enemy be exalted over me?

³ Consider and hear me, O Lord my God;
Enlighten my eyes,
Lest I sleep the sleep of death;
⁴ Lest my enemy say,
“I have prevailed against him”;
Lest those who trouble me rejoice when I am moved.

⁵ But I have trusted in Your mercy;
My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.
⁶ I will sing to the Lord,
Because He has dealt bountifully with me.

Have you ever experienced a season you would label as a dark night of your soul? A time period where you feel like you are doing the right things, spending your time in prayer and yet God seems so far away?  Just like David did in this Psalm.  We think it is all fairy tales and flowers when we walk with Jesus.  But sometimes it is lonely and scary, full of shadows and tormentors.

Am I alone, really alone, or is He here with me sitting beside me as I cry, stroking my hair, whispering my name and waiting for me to learn whatever lesson it is I am supposed to learn so this season will come to an end?

My head knows the answer to this.  My heart even believes it, but my senses do not feel Him like I have in times past.  Crying out to Him, waiting to hear His voice, and all the while only hearing and feeling the quiet emptiness that surrounds me.

My faith is not lost, I fear not that He has abandoned me, but I find solace in the words of David - who was a man after God's own heart - as I cry out and seek an answer, a touch, a small symbol of His love.  But the thing I love most about David's words, the thing that keeps me holding on even when I don't feel like it - is that he never stops praising God even in the midst of the dark night.   

Maybe you are in a dark night.  Maybe this season is hard for you too.  Maybe these raw emotions I am feeling you have felt as well.  If so, know this...YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  You are His beloved.  He is waiting on the other side of this dark night and His joy will come in the mourning (yes, I know I spelled it that way...it is how I feel and what I am learning...there will be joy in the mourning because I belong to Him).  God is faithful, He is loving and on the other side of the dark night, there is a beautiful sunrise.  I look forward to seeing it very soon, and in the meantime, I will continue to say - "It is well with my soul".