Memories repeated for the next generation

Blogs are supposed to be written with some regularity.  But the reality is, life often gets in the way and sometimes, sleep is just so much more important than processing on "paper" what is going on in life. And although I am still not sure I am ready to pull this together for public consumption, I am going to try.

In July, my precious dad passed away.

Wow, that took me a lot longer to type than I anticipated.  It's almost as though it is not really real until I put it here.  I guess I underestimated the fact that my honest to goodness therapy sessions are those involving a quiet space, a dark room, my keyboard and this blog.

As I sit here and wipe away the tears of sadness, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would not want me to be sad.  We even talked about this while he was in treatment and when he would start to get teary-eyed, we would quickly jump to the fact that he would be moving on to a party and that somehow we had to find a way to celebrate his change of address even though we are left behind.

My mom did a fabulous job of planning his celebration and we sent him off with a wonderful display of pink, white and blue balloons - the colors of the evening sky.  And now every time I see a display created by God for us here on Earth that incorporates those colors, I know that is a kiss from Him saying, your dad is here and having a great time so don't be sad.

And as I spent the Summer trying to figure out how to move on without my dad, we had a youth day at the lake and I snapped this picture of son.  And for a moment I lost my breath.  You see, this is the very pose I remember as a young girl seeing my dad in during the summer. 

For many years we had a boat and the dad that I remember looked just like this only with dark hair and a skunk tattoo!  And here before my eyes was my young "man" who adored my dad and experienced a relationship with him that transcended even mine and I literally couldn't breathe.    

It was a great reminder that memories are meant to be shared with the generations and that there is still a bit of my dad hanging around in the son that I love so much!

Thank you dad for loving me and my babies so much. I miss you but I am grateful for having the chance to love you and be loved by you.