Bubbling over can be both good and bad. You can be bubbling over with joy about the fact that you just received your reader's digest sweepstakes in the mail, or you can be bubbling over with anger because your favorite show on tv was pushed aside because some silly news story trumped it for the day. Or it could be any one of a million other things that take you to one extreme or the other.
Today I am bubbling over with yuck. You know, the stuff inside you that you never tell anyone, or that you are afraid to let others see because they might not like, let alone love, you anymore if they knew the truth. Today, my "stuff" seems so much more intense and disgusting than usual.
I seem to be set off by the smallest infraction by someone at work, or ready to pounce on the kids because they asked one too many questions, or clobber my husband because he left the dishes in the sink again or, or, or....I could go on. I feel trapped inside this body screaming at the top of my lungs..."LEAVE ME ALONE - WTC!!!!!!!!" (translated for those who don't see me often "What the crap!")
Now, I know you have never had one of those kind of days, but today is exceptionally bad for me. As a matter of fact, it has been a hard week. I hardly even spoke to my family Monday night because I was so out of sorts and didn't want to explode. I simply listened to the kids play with Adam and I sat at the dinner table alone eating my dinner.
Now, in my spirit I know this is not ok. Today has been a day of warring between my flesh and my spirit. So at lunch I decided to go out for a few minutes to clear my head and try to reset my thinking. Now, just as clear as the sun is shining today, I get this message in my spirit that tells me that God is making me into good, healthy, well made stock.
Have you ever made stock from scratch? Well, you take a pot of water, old leftover bones, and some seasoning vegetables and you boil them together for about 24 hours. The nutrients are released into the water and the yuck rises to the surface so you can scrape it away. When this process is complete, you have a rich, flavorful, healthy stock that you can use to make wonderful food with. God reminded me, ever so gently, that He puts me in the pot of boiling water for a reason and it is not my job to hide the yuck, it is God's job to bring the yuck to the surface so He can scrape it away. My ONLY job is to stay in the pot!
So as I sit here right now, without being spiritual, and without any real words of wisdom to impart to anyone but myself. I am staying in the pot, no matter how boiled over I feel. Lord take the yuck and turn this life into good stock that you can use for your purposes. And may I not boil over any yuck on those around me.
Today I am bubbling over with yuck. You know, the stuff inside you that you never tell anyone, or that you are afraid to let others see because they might not like, let alone love, you anymore if they knew the truth. Today, my "stuff" seems so much more intense and disgusting than usual.
I seem to be set off by the smallest infraction by someone at work, or ready to pounce on the kids because they asked one too many questions, or clobber my husband because he left the dishes in the sink again or, or, or....I could go on. I feel trapped inside this body screaming at the top of my lungs..."LEAVE ME ALONE - WTC!!!!!!!!" (translated for those who don't see me often "What the crap!")
Now, I know you have never had one of those kind of days, but today is exceptionally bad for me. As a matter of fact, it has been a hard week. I hardly even spoke to my family Monday night because I was so out of sorts and didn't want to explode. I simply listened to the kids play with Adam and I sat at the dinner table alone eating my dinner.
Now, in my spirit I know this is not ok. Today has been a day of warring between my flesh and my spirit. So at lunch I decided to go out for a few minutes to clear my head and try to reset my thinking. Now, just as clear as the sun is shining today, I get this message in my spirit that tells me that God is making me into good, healthy, well made stock.
Have you ever made stock from scratch? Well, you take a pot of water, old leftover bones, and some seasoning vegetables and you boil them together for about 24 hours. The nutrients are released into the water and the yuck rises to the surface so you can scrape it away. When this process is complete, you have a rich, flavorful, healthy stock that you can use to make wonderful food with. God reminded me, ever so gently, that He puts me in the pot of boiling water for a reason and it is not my job to hide the yuck, it is God's job to bring the yuck to the surface so He can scrape it away. My ONLY job is to stay in the pot!
So as I sit here right now, without being spiritual, and without any real words of wisdom to impart to anyone but myself. I am staying in the pot, no matter how boiled over I feel. Lord take the yuck and turn this life into good stock that you can use for your purposes. And may I not boil over any yuck on those around me.
2 comments:
An update to this post...Today is Monday, 3 days after I posted this, and I have felt the same way ever since, until something flipped in my thinking. God spoke to me again with the following word.
"Everything you feel right now towards those around you is NOT from me. I am allowing you to feel and see these things so that you may learn how to really love those around you the way I do. You now truly have something to compare it to. Your way of loving versus My way. You choose. Choose you this day not only WHOM you will serve, but also HOW you will love. Love as I do my child."
Thanks for your honesty...I think everyone who is trying to walk in the love of the Father goes through these places....however, I love your honesty....I thought I had a priority on this kind of yuck...........
Love you,
Angie
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