There's no crying at the ballet...

Well, there apparently is if you go with me. 

Then again that seems to be true of me just about anywhere these days.  I have no idea or control over when and where God is going to show up and how it is going to affect me.  I am not complaining, simply stating a fact of life for me these days.  Either I am more tired, more sensitive, or just plain full of tears that still need to wash away the stains of this past year, but regardless of why, when God shows up, my eyes leak.
So today I spent a lovely afternoon with friends at the ballet, The Nutcracker to be exact, and it was simply amazing.  My friends are Nutcracker connoisseurs, but for me, it could not have been any better.  The costumes were beautiful and full of the sparkle and shine that I hope my life exudes because of Jesus.  The dancing was full of talent and poise and most importantly, God showed up.

The Sugar Plum Fairy and her Cavalier were dancing and I was mesmerized by the beauty of it all.  God brought to memory the dancing my husband and I used to do on a weekly basis earlier in our marriage.  We were on a competitive dance team and we would often dance the night away.  As they were on stage, I could feel my husband's arms around me just as if they were still guiding me through twists and twirls, spins and turns with a strength and ability that I have not felt in a long time.  It was precious and it made me smile.  And then I cried.  I cried for what once was, I mourned for the old days and I longed for the way it used to be.  But I don't want to go back.  I choose to move forward and I want to shine again in this new normal we live in and shine brighter than before for my Lord.

Then I watched as Dew Drop danced on the stage surrounded by the other couples and she was dressed differently to stand out and although she was without a dance partner, she was surrounded by friends who danced around and with her - supporting her.  And as I searched my purse for a tissue before liquid ran down my face from my eyes and my nose...God met me in that moment.  Right at the point that I wanted to run and He showed me that I was His Dew Drop.  He told me I would continue to dance.  He reminded me that this is not the final act and His plan is great.  That although I may not be the Sugar Plum Fairy with a Cavalier to dance with, I still have a purpose on this earth and I can still use my talent and be beautiful in His eyes as He uses me as a supporting character in His story.

I almost came unglued right there.  Too many days I feel the giants are too big.  Too many days I feel I cannot go on without my Cavalier guiding my every step.  This new season is one where God is showing me that He is (and always has been) my Cavalier.  He guides my steps.  He holds my hand.  He holds me up.  He steadies my stride.

Although I may not see Him, just as I could not see Him on stage with Dew Drop, He is there and He is guiding my steps to make me a beautiful shining dancer in His show and He will never leave me or forsake me. 

So, I guess there IS crying at the ballet and that when God shows up and my eyes leak, that my friends, is just fine by me.