You hear it in your head right now don't you - the infamous song from Frozen. We have watched it a few times during the holiday break, and I really do love it - and I REALLY love that song. I have been that girl. The one who does the right thing, always stays in control and never lets anyone see the real her. How could I - no one would really understand!
Can you hear the independence and freedom in the voice of a girl who has had to hold back her gift and hold everything together? Can you hear all that it cost her to maintain that control - her freedom, her youth and the relationship with her sister? Can you hear the voice grow in strength as she begins to see what she can really do when she lets all that fear go. She finds a strength and a freedom like she has never known before. But even that new found freedom costs her something more. She is still alone. She is still isolated. She is still incomplete. And she ends up hurting those she cares for the most.
I have been her. I have felt that way. There are many days I feel like letting go, giving it all up, taking the easy way out. I think I am independent and ready to take on the world (a regular wonder woman so to speak). I start in my own direction with my resolve solidified and begin to do what I think needs to be done. I need no one. I can do whatever I want. In a word, I give in to the SIN-dependence.
Then God meets me in that moment. A gentle nudge, or a baseball bat - both have worked on me before - and I realize that I cannot just let it go. I can't just let go of my responsibilities, do what I want and have no consequences to myself or those around me. I can't just be who I want to be. I have to be true to the one who created me. I must let go of my SIN-dependence and run to the one I should be most dependent on. He holds the key to my happiness. He alone can fill the void that comes from holding on to fears that grip so tightly you feel you will never break free. He alone provides the direction and freedom and restores our relationships despite the damage we may have caused in the past.
This past few months have been hard, harder than I think my entire family ever thought it would be. I can honestly say that although I am thrilled that I can let it go and let the past be in the past, I am also grateful for all the lessons learned through the long season of 2014. I will let go of the fear and pain. I will no longer appear to be wonder woman. I will have meltdowns at the ballet, the grocery store, church, a restaurant - any where God meets me and I need a touch from Him or a good friend. I truly am a dependent woman on the lover of my soul. He gave me my gifts and talents, He knows my name, He has my best interest at heart and although I am a little apprehensive about what this new year holds, I will embrace it - AND HIM - instead of just letting go. I hope you will too. Happy New Year!
Can you hear the independence and freedom in the voice of a girl who has had to hold back her gift and hold everything together? Can you hear all that it cost her to maintain that control - her freedom, her youth and the relationship with her sister? Can you hear the voice grow in strength as she begins to see what she can really do when she lets all that fear go. She finds a strength and a freedom like she has never known before. But even that new found freedom costs her something more. She is still alone. She is still isolated. She is still incomplete. And she ends up hurting those she cares for the most.
I have been her. I have felt that way. There are many days I feel like letting go, giving it all up, taking the easy way out. I think I am independent and ready to take on the world (a regular wonder woman so to speak). I start in my own direction with my resolve solidified and begin to do what I think needs to be done. I need no one. I can do whatever I want. In a word, I give in to the SIN-dependence.
Then God meets me in that moment. A gentle nudge, or a baseball bat - both have worked on me before - and I realize that I cannot just let it go. I can't just let go of my responsibilities, do what I want and have no consequences to myself or those around me. I can't just be who I want to be. I have to be true to the one who created me. I must let go of my SIN-dependence and run to the one I should be most dependent on. He holds the key to my happiness. He alone can fill the void that comes from holding on to fears that grip so tightly you feel you will never break free. He alone provides the direction and freedom and restores our relationships despite the damage we may have caused in the past.
This past few months have been hard, harder than I think my entire family ever thought it would be. I can honestly say that although I am thrilled that I can let it go and let the past be in the past, I am also grateful for all the lessons learned through the long season of 2014. I will let go of the fear and pain. I will no longer appear to be wonder woman. I will have meltdowns at the ballet, the grocery store, church, a restaurant - any where God meets me and I need a touch from Him or a good friend. I truly am a dependent woman on the lover of my soul. He gave me my gifts and talents, He knows my name, He has my best interest at heart and although I am a little apprehensive about what this new year holds, I will embrace it - AND HIM - instead of just letting go. I hope you will too. Happy New Year!
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