After

After the day is done.
After the kids are in bed.
After the house is quiet.

That is when it happens.
I begin to wrestle with my inner self.
I argue over the things I said that day - or didn't say.
I call myself all the bad names I have for me...you know the ones that you never tell anyone else. The ones that only you and God know. The ones that hurt most and you feel as though if anyone knew what you were thinking or feeling they would either run and hide, or want to hide you away.

Yes.  After.  After the stormy day I feel exhausted and worn out.


But After the struggle, I let God tell me how He viewed the day.  The day He orchestrated for me, whether I was completely ignorant of His presence or if I was acutely aware of it. It is in the quiet moments of the late evening or early morning that He gently whispers in my ear and says, "You are mine.  I love you. You are worthy. You are precious."

And after He realigns my identity to be in step with His, He instructs, guides and shares with me the ways He would have me to go.  After the storm, comes the sun and for that I am truly grateful.