Hole-y Caregivers!

As a caregiver, I've held many titles.

Wife, mother, daughter, friend, leader. 

But none have defined me as much as this one. 

Over the last decade, caregiving has been the most challenging role I've ever held. 

During my recent trip to Italy, I learned that only 30% of the Colosseum is still standing today, with the iron rods removed, leaving many holes in the structure. It was awe-inspiring to see even that 30% standing strong. 

Returning to my everyday life, I reflected on the things that have been depleted in my own journey as a caregiver - just like the iron from those walls. But God - my two favorite words gives me faith, along with the support of friends and family, to fortify me. 

Despite feeling weary, I am reminded of the resilient spirit of the Colosseum's walls. Like them, I will press on, move forward, and not grow weary in well-doing. 

To my fellow caregivers worldwide, remember that you are still standing. Find ways to rest, rejuvenate, and bless others along the way. Together, we can navigate the never-ending list of caregiving tasks with strength and grace. 

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The hand you are dealt

Playing at the game of life has its challenges but you should never have to gamble your physical - or mental - health for the sake of going all in.

So how do you go all in at work and not be all consumed to the point of exhaustion and burnout or worst yet the dreaded quiet quitting?

Working - and living - in a start-up (or start-up with legs) culture for most of my career, I have learned several things - most of them from my many trips to Vegas (my least favorite city BTW).

Go all in and play the game, give it your all, AND walk away a winner with your sanity mostly intact.

Every hand's a winner.

Why? Because we get to choose to look at life through the lens of positivity. Our mentality determines our reality. Our thoughts determine our actions and our actions determine our outcomes. So look at your cards, find a way to see the possibility and then play the hand you were dealt.

In your current role and situation, there may be significant challenges. So choose to see the positives including the lessons you are learning, and find a way to enjoy the journey. You will be happier and healthier.

Bet on yourself.

You have everything that you need at your fingertips to win at the game of life. There will be highs, there will be lows, but if you keep moving forward, do the right things and believe in what you can accomplish - you will win every single time because even a failure is just an opportunity to learn and get better the next time.

Advocate for yourself and ask the right questions. What does success look like? How do I get X resources to deliver Y results? And never be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

Work together with those at the table, beat the dealer, and everyone wins.

Teamwork is important. It may mean you won't always win at that moment, but if you work together, you can bend the will of the cards in favor of the table - causing the dealer to bust. The moment you think only of yourself, you put everyone at the mercy of the cards and the dealer. Stop always showing your poker face and be real with the people around you. Choose teamwork and help others win with you along the way.

Cash in your chips when you are ahead.

It's easy to keep chasing the high you get from the win. But how much sweeter is it to stop when you are ahead, put the chips in your pocket and walk away with more than you came with. Even if the "more" is wisdom from a failure, friendship from the team you were in, or watching someone you helped win at their game.

Think about the hand you have been dealt.

Will you see the good in it, choose to believe in yourself, work with those around you, and cash in when you are ahead? If you do then maybe, just maybe, you will not only survive, but thrive in this world.

I'm all in - how about you

Words mean things

As a marketing professional the phrase "words mean things" permeates my world.  

Many phrases linger in my head as I perform my daily tasks, but none is truer than "words mean things".  Power is released through words.  Words have a specific meaning.  Words leave an impression.  Words are transformational.  Just ask any kid who was hurt by a mean girl or lifted up through a sincere compliment delivered in their dark moment. 

Carefully selecting the right word at the right moment is not only magical in marketing it can provide life to those who need it - or curse with death.

From the beginning, it was the spoken word that created every single thing we see today.  God said - and it happened.  His words sparked the very existance of a variety of wonderful, mysterious and amazing creatures as well as the immense natural beauty that surrounds us. Sunrises, sunsets, waterfalls, oceans, stars, forests, rivers - all came to be because words were spoken.

Today's words from THE WORD are a reminder to me to "push through" to perseverance and do it with joy.  Trials are only trumped when you push through the darkness. And God is truly glorified if you push through with joy.

James tells us to "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Joy in trials...come on now...who does that???

Well in Hebrews 12:1-3 we see that as we become more like Jesus, WE CAN DO THAT!

"And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

Three words stuck out in both of these passages, consider, joy and perseverance. If we CONSIDER what Jesus endured, we can CONSIDER it JOY- pure joy - when we experience any trial - because that trial, when pushed through, will eventually be trumped and develop the PERSEVERANCE we need and keep us from growing weary and losing heart.  

This world is troubling.  You will have trials.  You will fall.  You might fail.  People will disappoint. Jobs will end.  BUT GOD...my two favorite words have the best meaning of all!  If God be for me, who can be against me and if He works all things together for my good, then no matter the challenge, trial, or disappointment I face in this life, God trumps it. 

How can I not push through to perseverance with pure joy? 

His words say I can. 

And His words mean even more than mine! They are magical and majestic full of consideration, perseverance and joy.

Spinning. Turning. Twirling. Falling. Joyfully?!

When I was a little girl I loved the feeling of spreading my arms out wide and spinning around in circles until I could no longer stand up straight.  It was an amazing experience void of inhibitions and full of life, laughter and trust that the world would eventually get back to "normal" even if it never felt like it.

Having experienced the life shattering chaos that one's family undergoes when someone survives a life threatening stroke, the spinning, turning, twirling and falling that happens to one's marriage and family, can certainly make you feel like the only thing normal in your life is that of the setting on your dryer in your laundry room labelled "normal".

Balancing marriage, family, work and ministry can certainly feel unsettling at best and disruptively disturbing and worst. On your best days you may look - and even feel - as though you have it all together.  But on those bad days, where the world starts spinning out of control, you may find yourself questioning everything - all that you see and certainly everything you cannot see.

Faith seems hard to find on those days. 

Peace is hidden from your heart and soul.

Joy falls by the wayside into utter disbelief that the world will never make sense again.

There are other times, when you feel those things - and rightfully so - but the joy never ceases.  Why is that?  Resiliency is what I think makes the difference.  How does one become resilient? Can you decide to be resilient or is it something you are born with?

I don't have the answers to those questions, but I can tell you one thing that helps me to keep the twirling fun - LAUGHTER. 

An amazing person in my life once said..."if it is funny later, it is funny now" and I have chosen to live by that rule ever since I heard it.  And let me tell you, there are so many things that have happened post stroke that are absolutely absurd, you cannot NOT laugh later, so we choose to laugh in the middle of the chaos while falling.

Take our recent trip to Colorado...

My husband was not feeling well on the day that we were traveling to Colorado.  We doctored him up the best we could, but the situation was unnerving to say the least.  We arrived in Denver and in the chaos of tending to his needs, we managed to get off the plane, pick up our luggage, get in the bus to the rental car lot, pack the car with our luggage, drive an hour and a half in a snow storm to pick up our skis and groceries for the next 12 hours, drive to the cabin, unload the car in the snow, only to realize that the MOST IMPORTANT of all the bags we packed for my husband was left on the plane.

Now, you will often hear me say "You can't make this stuff up!" And it is so true.  His medicines, cell phone, iPad, - everything he needed for the trip for his own entertainment as well as his well being was in that bag! 

I stood there for a moment, shook my head, said a prayer of thanksgiving that we found it and no one had taken it, and then said well, you can't make this stuff up and we have a new story to tell!

Resilient?  You bet!

I choose to remember that this world is not really that shaky, because despite the spinning, turning, twirling and even falling - my God is sovereign.  He holds me steady.  He has a sense of humor. And I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He will take care of all my needs - even when it means He has to protect the precious cargo that I left in the hands of the airlines instead of having my head on straight to remember all three suitcases, three - not two - back packs, two sets of ski boots, a cane, two teenagers and my husband in the first place!

So is this normal? It is to me.  I keep bouncing along, looking at the world as fraught with danger, but knowing that most of the time, the God of the universe is spinning these unbelievable stories into my blessings and let's face it - favor ain't fair - and I am ok with that.  I will keep spinning, turning, twirling and resiliently laughing with joy.  I am safe in my Father's arms...even when I fall down. 

Finish Well

We spent the better part of last summer preparing our yard for a new season of peace, joy and fellowship with our family and friends.  It represents a lifelong dream we have been saving for years!

So, in preparation for this dream to become a reality, we had to take down several trees in our yard to make way for what now has become our new outdoor recreation location.

It was a family affair with EVERYONE pitching in at their level of capabilities.  Director, laborer, encourager, actor, comedian and production crew alike all took their place on the stage to help complete this important, preparatory portion of the project.

As with any do-it-yourself, weekend warrior project, none of us walked away without a profound understanding that this kind of work is hard AND it is tedious AND if done improperly, can be a major risk.

Our son, who is just 14, was the muscle behind the chainsaw.  It was amazing to watch him blossom in this role as he learned the ins and outs of (as well as the physics behind) tree removal and he did it perfectly and without injury.  Our daughter, 12, learned the fact that everyone can help no matter their size. The motivation of a pool being the end result helped her stay focused (most of the time). Our friends even joined in with all the help needed to finish the last of the trees - including one of the biggest.

We removed at least 14 trees from our yard, including a 45+ year old hardwood that nearly did us all in from July heat and exhaustion, but the very last one was a very large pine tree.  There is a great big story to tell around the falling of this tree. However, for the purposes of this post, I will simply say, it might have tried to beat us, but this family stayed the course, kept going, and finished the project.

We call it finishing well - a concept my husband has pronounced for years in coaching soccer.

You see, life is not easy.  Some days you really just want to quit.  Sometimes things fall COMPLETELY apart. The enemy will call you stupid. The world will say you cannot do it. Maybe even those close to you will say it's impossible, but you must FINISH WELL that which God has asked you to do.

Never give up.

Keep moving forward.

When you fall, get back up.

When you think you can't, listen to that still small voice that says you can.

And if you find friends who help you pick up the mess you may make along the way - HOLD ONTO THEM WITH BOTH HANDS!

Finish well.
No matter what it looked like at any given moment, finish well.
Giving your very best effort, finish well.

So that when you meet your maker after this life is over, you may hear Him say, "Well done my good and faithful servant, well done."

Let's Grow BOLD Together

On my way to work, on a very busy street, I approached a traffic light.  As I glanced over to my left, a bird flew down between two cars - while they were still slowing down - to get the food it located there on the ground.  The cars came to a stop and he continued to eat and then flew away just as they began to move. 

I found myself mesmerized by the boldness of this creature.  I honestly could not take my eyes of the scene.  This bold and brazen character spotted what he wanted and went after it despite the dangers the vehicles around him represented.

As I drove away from that light, I wondered to myself - Can I be that bold?  Can I maintain laser-sighted focus on the prize at hand without considering the dangers or obstacles that try to keep me from obtaining my goals in life? Do I make the choice each day to be bold?

And if I were to be completely transparent, I believe the honest answer to those questions is "sometimes".
So what makes the difference between being bold and going for it or shying away and missing the opportunity? I think there are three things we must do in order to make the leap to being bold in everything that we do.

1. Start with a goal - When you start with a goal and you set your mind on accomplishing it, I believe you find that anything is possible. The goal of that bird was to find food.  It was a survival instinct, but it was still a goal and he was not willing to let it get away just because a few moving cars were in the way.
2. Be prepared - My son is well on his way to becoming an eagle scout and their motto is perfect for all of us in life..."Be prepared".  Know what you could be facing and prepare yourself mentally, physically and even spiritually to see you accomplishing that goal.  Clear your mind of the negative thoughts and prepare to get the prize.
3. Know your obstacles - You WILL have obstacles with every goal you set.  Something or someone will always try to stop you from achieving it.  In being prepared, part of that should include knowing what might stand in the way of your success and have a plan to combat those things and be bold to stand up to them or move them out of your way!

So the next time you begin to think "I can never do that" or "that will be too hard", just remember that little bird and think, if he can be that bold, so can I - and really mean it.  Here's to growing bold together!